I will use the following rant in some sort of dahlia article in the future:
I have a pet peeve when I see a humongous sized tuber clump from hell. People say "you should breed dahlias that make lots of tubers". That is B.S. when you think about it. When the dirt is still attached to the monster clumps, you can hardly lift them and that is after you dug carefully on all four sides to ensure the tubers "are not broken". You pry it from the ground and try to knock off enough dirt so that you can lift it. I put it into one of my collapsible crates and there is room for only two clumps. Normally they are at least 10 and usually about 15 clumps that fit in there. Then I have to lift the two tuber clumps into the garden trailer. Where is Arnold Schwarzenegger when you need him? He smoking a cigar and laughing as he watches me struggle to lift two dahlia clumps 3 feet. Then you have to wash the dirt from the clumps. More lifting and my hose end sprayer is set on full blast and the dirt slides from the tubers onto the ground or at least that is the theory. In actuality, the dirt is in between a dozen crevasses between tubers and as I point the sprayer into each crevasse I jump back expecting the water to bounce off the clump onto my face. Yes, I am nimble and jump away most of the time but one little slip or hesitation and the water bounces off the clump onto my face. Yes, my face was wet and dirty. And finally, the clumps are reasonably clean and off to the dividing table where I will take sweet revenge on the clump from hell. The tubers are so fat that there is no space to remove them with an eye. I have to divide the clump into two portions and I am out of dynamite. The stalk in the center of the clump is nearly 3 inches in diameter and I cut it off close to the clump. I insert two giant screw drivers into the cavity and pry them in opposite directions and like the diamond cutter who cleaves a million dollar rough diamond into two pieces, I celebrate with glee that I have conquered the monster tuber clump. This is a true story. I stored the big tubers and as it turned out most of them did not “eye out” in the Spring. I made a very intelligent choice and tossed all of the tubers onto the compost heap. The flowers that were somewhat pretty were not worth all that work. I will reveal the name of the variety to people who ask me in person as I do respect the breeder who probably had not anticipated that his seedling would cause me grief.
Tahoma Giraffe may be extinct and it made very few tubers and it has nothing to do with the above rant.
